What if....

One essay is ready for tomorrow submission. Hopefully I won’t be disappointed with it again. I am not in a mood to do my work but I just have to push myself as far and hard as I can. My emotions are going up and down. I can be very happy or sad or even cry. It is not about my work. Each time I think of it I will start to cry.

Chinese New Year is four days away. I am sitting here wondering what I will be doing at this point of time if I am in Malaysia. I would probably be cleaning up my room, going shopping with the whole family, going to petaling street at about 10.30pm to get the sweets and inhaling the smell of bak kua and jumping around day and night with my sis or pestering my brother about his work or pestering mum to give me more money to shop, telling her to buy this dress and not that dress and asking dad how much will he give me for angpau this year. Not to forget, start preparing angpau for my Grandmum, busy snacking with the nga ku and pineapple cookies. The best part is going to Tesco two days before CNY to buy those groundnuts, drinks and jelly beans. Going to the temple in petaling street after packing the house on CNY’s eve.I am so freaking excited.

This year will be different. On the CNY eve, I would probably be sitting in front of the laptop doing my assignments. When you are having your reunion dinner, I think I have just wake up trying to crawl out from the bed and start imagining all the Chinese food on the table. The roasted duck, chicken, nga ku with lap cheung and lap ngap, prawns, fish and also pork knuckles and not to forget the soup. Maybe this time is steamboat. I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it.

On the first day of CNY, I will probably be in bed when dad is doing the prayers and everyone is preparing to go “pai nian” with my grandmother. I can’t wear any new clothes. Maybe I should ask dad whether I can get a dress for CNY as a gift. I will miss the vegetarian chai and tong yuen. I have already decided what to eat on the first day since I will be on vegetarian.

Everyone will be receiving their angpau and start counting and comparing the amount they received. Hopefully all the aunties will be kind enough to remember me who is miserably staying in UK alone and will pass all my angpaus to my mum. It doesn’t matter whether it is GBP or RM, as long as it is money then is fine.

Old people always say that it is not good to cry on the first day of CNY because it won’t bring any good luck. I think this time I am going to break the spell. I can foresee that I will be crying when I call home to wish my family Happy Chinese New Year. Even at this point of time, I am already crying. This is the first time I am staying so far away from my parents. Every first day of CNY, I will stay with my parents instead of hanging out with my friends. This will also be the day where all the cousins will hang out together and start to plan where to go leaving all the older generations at home.

I am going to stop here because I can’t take it anymore. I need to dry my tears. Hahaha

Happy Chinese New Year in Advance! Treasure every moment with your family members and loved ones.

Love

PhuiSaN