Change of plans

The whole world knows that my family will be coming in January to celebrate CNY with me. I am really happy and excited but for the past few days I have been thinking a lot considering many factors.

My brother has officially starts to work in Maya Hotel. He won’t be able to join us in UK. He will need to celebrate CNY alone in Msia. I know I am very selfish for asking my parents to come. After thinking, I rather celebrate CNY alone. I really don’t mind. It is not so cool if you have to celebrate alone but I think it will be fine for me. I was hoping that he can come so that we can all celebrate together.

Three more weeks then it will be CNY. I know dad and mum will be extremely busy because they need to collect all the debts and economy is so bad. Their clients would probably decline to pay and even ask for further discount. I know all this very well because I have been helping my dad for these past few years. Dad and mum just came back from outstation and I know the amount of stress that they have to go through.

Mum just told me that dad has been very busy and some things have been bothering him lately. One is work, grandmum’s health and me. Mum asked me whether is it alright if they don’t come in January. I immediately say yes without thinking much. Mum said that dad is afraid that I will be angry and upset if he cancels the plan. The moment I said yes, I know it is a very big sacrifice. I act like as if I am fine with it. I told mum that since I will be going back in March, it will be fine.

So I keep persuading mum to tell dad that no need to come in January and I will be fine with it. After that my sister started crying. She asked me a question. “You sure you don’t want us to come?” “I know you want us to come and it will be shit to celebrate alone.”

To tell the truth my heart was shattered when I saw her crying. I pretend to be strong by not crying. I have no idea what to say but for the sake of everyone I know that I cannot be selfish and just think about myself.

Upset but I will get over it soon. PK, don’t cry anymore. Don’t be upset. I will be coming back. Since you all are not coming, I might consider staying in KL longer when I go back. Instead of going back on 24^th I might consider going back on 31^st. Clean up the room and wait for me.

PhuiSaN