She needs to find herself back!

In every phase of a person’s life, things will change. It is either good or bad. I am not sure what is happening to me right now at this phase of life. There are too many things to consider from studies to family to work and etc. Actually I felt quite useless and a shame of myself because I have not started working yet. Everyone is at the same age as me are actually earning their own money.

Since I came back to UK, I turned into an anti social girl. I was not the happy go lucky girl anymore. I try to stay away from people. I spend most of the time in my room doing my essays. I will only go out if I am forced too. The only place I go to is the park. Sound so dreadful and miserable.

Yesterday, one of my mate pop into my room for a one to one talk. He asked what is going on. So I thought what is going on? I said nothing. He said that all of them think that I am a totally different person now and not the Vanessa that they used to know.

I said “Do I look more grumpy and quiet?”. He said “Yes. You used to be very talkative and loud but now…”You are just so quiet”.

The only reason I gave to him was “I am stress with workloads”. Yes, I am really stressed with the assignments I have on hand. I spend one whole day writing up just a few hundred words of conclusion. I wrote six times but none of it sounds like a conclusion. Until now, there is still no conclusion for the essay.

I don’t know what is wrong. I miss my family so much. I feel so empty right now. Each time I look at my family photo, tears will roll down on my cheek. I wondered where the laughter has gone.

Where is the phuisan who use to laugh the loudest? I don’t know. I am still wondering.

ps