How do you want to die?

This is something that I rarely write about but I do think about it when I am free. I have actually been through this scenario before.

I still can remember clearly. Two year back, Monday 19^th of September 2006, my grandpa passed away. In the wee morning, we all send dad to the KL Sentral because he needs to catch a train to KLIA. In the morning, I had to go College for some MYOB tutorial class. Before mum, bro and I left the house, ah poh called us and said that something happened to ah kong but she didn’t tell us properly.

We got a call from my aunty telling us that grandpa is not in a good condition. I decided to forget about the class and drove straight to grandma’s house. At that point of time, my mind was wondering off and worried but tried to stay calm because dad was not with us. We tried to call dad before he gets up the plane. When we called him, he was about to off his handphone. Thank God that we were just in time.

We dashed to the house and aunty said that grandpa had passed away. At that second, I was blank. I thought it must be a joke. The doctor came and certified that grandpa has gone. It was hard to accept the fact but all I can do was cry.

On Sunday, dad said that we should go see grandpa. So we all went. Grandpa was so happy and loud. He even offered to cut some papayas for us. The next day, he is gone. Grandpa died in his sleep. It was extremely peaceful. Till now, I still miss grandpa’s presence. He is shining right above us giving us the lights and blessing.

Today, mum told me that she is going to Penang tomorrow. So I thought was for work purpose. She told me that dad’s friend’s mum had passed away. Mum said that the grandma sleep till she forgot to wake up. She passed away in her sleep. God Bless Her.

I was thinking how I will die next time. Sickness or Sleep or Accident? (Touching Wood) If I get to choose, I want to die in sleep. It is so peaceful. Before grandpa left us, he didn’t leave us any message at all. We were not prepared to face this situation.

Sometimes I am afraid of going to sleep and sleeping alone. I am not sure what is going to happen when I sleep. How can I leave without living any message? The best thing to do is to write a diary. I have been writing diary so that if anything happens to me, at least I have written something. I think this blog will be a good place for me to leave some wordings.

When I go to bed, I always think “Should I lock the door?”. Just in case anything happen, my mates can dash into my room. I always set alarm before I go to bed. At least it will wake me up!

phuisan